Hey, pretty boy, I want to leave this place. It's time to leave. It's time to get ready to rokk.

During a class discussion once, I recorded what a creative writing teacher had to say about the transition from high school to university.

Here's what he had to say when his students began throwing questions at him...

Student #1: What do you know about criminology?"

Teacher: I know I really like Criminal Minds. Good show. You should watch it.

Student #2: For writing, do you know what's needed in a portfolio?

Teacher: Best thing to do is to ask the school. I mean, each program's gonna be different, because they're assholes like that. You're talking about -- what, did you say art?

Student #2: No, journalism.

Teacher: Well, they'll want journalism then. So, uh, call the universities. Basically, they wanna see some promise. So, if you have absolutely no potential at all, chances are, you'll get accepted ... since the acceptance procedure is all CIA on us.

Student #3: What's different between concurrent and consecutive teaching programs?

Teacher: Um ... go to Trent in Canada. That's where I went. Oh, and don't take music theatre. It sucks. Big kick in the groin to me. And be consecutive because concurrent is all, "Yeah, you're stellar, but we don't like you, so we're gonna pass. Good luck teaching ... if you ever receive approval," followed by mechanical evil laughter, which only leads me to believe they're robots with no heart. So, yeah, did that cover your question?

Student #3: Um .. sure.

Student #4: What should I try to do if I don't know what I want to do yet?

Teacher: Either pick a Bachelor of Arts, if you're cool, or a Bachelor of Science, if you're lame, and go for it. Be that "general courses" kid, all mysterious and shifty. But don't be lazy. Get off your ass and choose something before you graduate. Otherwise, you're the fat kid, too.

Student #5: How do course selections work?

Teacher: They have this catalogue, just like K-Mart ... You get my drift.

Student #6: What would you say is the biggest difference between university and high school?

Teacher: I'd have to say the fact that high school sucks and university doesn't.

Student #7: Is graphic design going to have steady work for me by the time I graduate?

Teacher: You're gonna be freelance ... unless you're really lucky. REALLY.

Student #8: How many classes will you have?

Teacher: For the most part, it's 4 credits per year. Some classes are half credits, while some are full. It all depends on what you're taking, what you have to take, which the university will tell you all about if you ask. I got lucky and always had Fridays off. I talked to the TAs a lot. Got me a bit of sway. Haha, I'm just kidding. I did have a 3 hour lecture, though, which just equated to a 3 hour headache. Best part was when he stopped rambling to take a breath. Sweet and merciful, I'll always remember it.

Student #9: So, wait, do we have classes on weekends?

Teacher: No, universities can be, at times, vicious and, if provoked, will rip you apart, but they'll give you Saturdays and Sundays.

Student #10: Sir, this is so serious.

Teacher: Yeah, I know. I mean, it's ONLY the next four years, and come on, it's JUST your future.

That is my creative writing teacher. And he doesn't give exams. Jealous?