So ... let me tell you about my Saturday... now that it's Tuesday and my memory has faded sufficiently. Okay, so I was doing a little bit of a walk with my boyfriend and I was yammering on about India.
I'm reading Life of Pi by Yann Martell -- and if you haven't read it, read it; it's a little bit longer than a paperback should be, but it's worth it. Just commit to reading five, ten, fifteen pages a day and you'll be done in a few weeks.
Anyway, so yes, yammering to my boyfriend and we're in a parking lot and we walk past this car and this guy's got a little plastic and steel extension thing in his car. I was staring... yes, I know it's rude, but I'm sure that Rosa Parks was considered rude in her fight for civil rights. So, staring is a-okay in my books. So, I did. My boyfriend lured me over away from his vehicle with shiny objects before the guy could see me. I thought about what I'd just saw and I pondered it some more and I finally came to this conclusion:
"Oh my God! He's ... he's ... he's making a bomb! Run!"
My boyfriend was already fairly certain that I was wrong (but I sensed he sped up a tiny bit, nonetheless). He finally informed me that I was paranoid. I told him, "Nuh-uh! I'm cautious!" He asked me what the first thing I thought was when I see a tandem bicycle. I said, "Love... Companionship ..." He interrupted with, "Tandem bombcycle." Apparently, according to boyfriend dearest, I would not think teamwork, I would think double the force fueling this monstrosity.
Anyway, we kept walking until we came to THE BEST PUBLIC RESTROOM EVER! It's not like it's got snazzy technology or anything like that. It's pretty plain-looking, too, with yellow-grey walls. I didn't know yellow-grey was a colour, but apparently, it is. Pastel yellow-grey. So why was it the best? Because ... it ... smelled. Amazingly. Undescribable almost. Like, fresh fruit fields... and flowers... and yummy new candy shops with little toy trains going around a little track on the ceiling everytime you press a little button. (I went to the Cadbury Shoppe a lot when I was little.)
Ooh, in other news ...
Halloween. It's coming up a few months. So ... I have both decided what I want to be and got the costume. That's right. No last-minute costuming for me! I'm on top of my game. I cannot tell you, of course, because I must reign supreme, but what I should tell you is that I got a sweater for $2.00 and a big cardigan for $8.00. I got a pair of patterned knee-high socks for $0.75. So, overally, my costume cost $10.75. I spent $30.00 a few years ago on a costume and then spent another $10 trying to get it right with all the little accessories. So, I've come to the conclusion that DIY is SMB (that being So Much Better).
When we'd finished walking, we'd ended up at the theatre. So, we went and saw Julie & Julia, which was really good. I like Hell's Kitchen and Iron Chef and Kitchen Nightmares, though, so I'm sort of a Food Network fan, which made this movie perfect for me. Imitating Julia Child was fun, too. But since I pretty much drink only water and orange juice and eat only chicken and pasta, none of the little food tips really helped me. So, au revoir `a cette anecdote! (Well, that sucks that there's no accents for blogging.)
Et bonjour, les films prochains!
Since I'm saving up for a vacation next summer to Newfoundland, Canada, that film might be the last one for me for a few months, despite the high number of films coming out that I want to see. I'll have to wait for them to come out on DVD and Blu-Ray. However, I will get to see a couple, as I am an entertainment critic for a non-profit magazine and I have to see a couple to write about... but that's a couple months from now.
So, until then, it's Youtube for me. (Oh, how do I love thee, Youtube? Let me count the ways!)
Okay, the ones I have seen... I'll write a little something about. The ones I haven't -- well, I'll, um ... AHA! I KNOW! I'll write why I want to see them!
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince: I was just getting into it ... and then, cue credits. They should have just scrawled 'To Be Continued' across the bottom of the screen because there sure wasn't a conclusion.
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen: It's the same story as the first ... only with less plot and more bang-bang. Which was okay for me, because I wasn't going to see Transformers for the witty dialogue or thought-provoking storyline.
Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs: I saw it in 3-D, which renders my opinion useless and biased as Bush.
Terminator Salvation: I'd never watched the others and I enjoyed it. Except for John Connor because Christian Bale is a deep-voiced pain-in-the-ass. I mean, Batman was the worst part of The Dark Knight.
Funny People: The irony for this movie is that the comedians are not funny people. They're not happy. Whether they're rich, like Adam Sandler's character George Simmons, or barely making it, like Ira Wright played by Seth Rogen, they're all kind of dealing with the crap of life. But when life gives you crap, well ... you flush it. And then drink some lemonade.
The Ugly Truth: The battle of the sexes is sassy and full of dick jokes. Yes, I enjoyed this film, but not at first. I was a little disappointed for the first 10 to 20 minutes. But then it got going and it sped through the plot, joke after joke, and with that little bit of lustiness and romance mixed in. Not bad for a Heigl-Butler film. Especially considering Butler played a dead guy in his last rom-com.
Okay, now for the ones I wanna see ...
(500) Days of Summer: Zooey Deschanel is pretty cool and Joseph Gordon-Levitt is the new adorkable Michael-Cera-type rom-com lead, I suspect, so I'd like to start with something where I like both of the love birds. (Aug. 7, 2009)
Paper Heart: I've been looking forward to this for ages. It's a half-fiction, half-truth documentary about love. See, Charlyne Yi and Michael Cera really are dating, but she pretends in the movie to not believe in love. So, they go all over America interviewing individuals on what they believe love is. So... yeah. I don't know much more, but she talks to bikers, and I bet they say they love the open road. (Aug. 7, 2009)
Post Grad: She's my Gilmore girl. I cannot deny her my viewership. 'Tis unethical beyond justification. (Aug. 21, 2009)
Inglourious Basterds: There's nothing like Quarantino. And Brad Pitt and Eli Roth and Mike Myers all in the same movie... That's sheer brilliance. And Samuel Jackson, of course. Because he's in everything. (Aug. 21, 2009)
The Final Destination: 3D. 'Nough said. (Aug. 28, 2009)
9: Mmmm... Tim Burton-y. (Sept. 9, 2009)
Fame 2009: She really is gonna live forever. (Sept. 25, 2009)
Invention of Lying: Jennifer Garner's my homegirl. Except Alias. Never was too fond of that. But I fully supported Elektra, despite its fairly far fall. (Sept. 25, 2009)
An Education: I don't know much about this film, but it's set in the sixties and the actors are nameless, which is sometimes better, because when you're nameless, you have to act instead of hoping your name will get you to the box office. So, yes, looking forward to this film. (Oct. 9, 2005)
Couples Retreat: Not only does it have an all-star cast, but the plot is pretty awesome. Is it just me or does Kristen Bell always end up in exotic locations in her movies? I mean, Hawaii for Forgetting Sarah Marshall? And now, Tahiti for Couples Retreat? Jeez. Lucky girl. (Oct 9, 2009)
Whip It: I hate pageant mothers. So I hope to watch this film. And support Juno's efforts to lose her baby weight. (Oct 9, 2009)
Zombieland: We all love zombies. And that dude from Adventureland is awesome. Namelessly awesome. (Oct 9, 2007)
Law Abiding Citizen: Kick ass! 300-style! Mess their shitake mushrooms up! ... I'm sorry, it just looks really good. Please note. Gerard Butler is going to mess with Jamie Foxx's mind. If you're a fan of Ray, don't come to this film. (Oct. 16, 2009)
Saw 6: I saw 5 of 'em. You can't really stop at 5. (Oct. 23, 2009)
The Box: This looks creepy as the Manson family and it comes out the day before Halloween, so ... (Oct. 30, 2009)
A Christmas Carol: Please refer to 'The Final Destination' for decent reasoning. (Nov. 6, 2009)
2012: Post-apocalyptic delight. And Lloyd Dobler -- I mean, John Cusack. (Nov. 13, 2009)
Planet 51: I love me some animation. Disney and Pixar have robbed me blind over the years. Planet 51 is another such burglary. (Nov. 20, 2009)
Old Dogs: John Travolta and Robin Williams are practically ancient, but I will always love them. John will always be dancing in Grease for me and Robin Williams will always be progeria-stricken Jack eating worms with Bill Cosby in a treehouse. Yes, I am living in the past. But at least I'm happy. (Nov. 25, 2009)
Brothers: Is Jake Gyllenhaal really gay? Or is that just homophobic rumours from his Brokeback brilliance? Anyway, I want to see this film because Natalie Portman's awesome and so is Jake Gyllenhaal. (Dec. 4, 2009)
The Lovely Bones: This was one of those books that changed my life. I have to see the movie, end of story. (Dec. 11, 2009)
The Princess and the Frog: Damn you Disney. My little defenseless eye has snuck a peek at your Pandora's Box offerings. Have you no remorse? (Dec. 11, 2009)
Sherlock Holmes: Jude Law? Are you serious? Gimme another Watson! Jude Law is a stinky poohead. And I think my maturity level will force the little ticket people to refuse me a ticket. I doubt this movie will do well if it comes out on Christmas Day -- but that's just me, spitballing here. (Dec. 25, 2009)
It's Complicated: Julia Child will be doing her ex-husband. I mean, Meryl Streep. (Dec. 25, 2009)
Leaves of Grass: I love movies with professors. And twins. The Parent Trap. A Beautiful Mind. Excetera. Plus, the play on words is fantastic... and you'll know what I mean if you go see this film. (Dec. 25, 2009)
I Love You Phillip Morris: Is it just me or do films with homosexuality as a theme almost always win an Oscar? (Feb. 5, 2010)
Alice in Wonderland: Mmmmm. A Tim Burton two-course meal. (March 5, 2010)
Iron Man 2: Did you see the first one? How could you deny this sequel? (May 7, 2010)
Footloose 2010: If they fudge this one, I'll be pissed.
Toy Story 3: First two were damn dandy. Will Woody and Bo Peep ever get together? Ah, the sex! The intrigue! (June 18, 2010)
Newfoundland, here I come!
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